Finding My Place, Day by Day

On Tuesday I had my first tutorial in Social Anthropology. I had turned in my paper on the Thursday before, so I wasn't thinking that hard about Social Anthro when I showed up to meet with my professor. That was my first mistake. The second came from that fact that I didn't put as much effort and time into my Anthro paper that I have been puting into my Philosophy and Film paper. Big mistake. My tutor, as kindly and as Englishly as possible, tore me apart.

Wednesday, I was feeling really hurt, because I felt as if I was a fish out of water in the field of Social Anthropology, floundering for a basic understanding. By Thursday, I was feeling better about it, with the help of some encouraging my from amazing family and friends. I realized that it's better to start small, and work toward improvement than to start really strong and regress instead of progress. I also spent the majority of Thursday thinking about the direction that my life was headed, and researching and writing a paper on the role of television in contemporary society.

Friday, I was starting to get a sense that this semester will be a time of reaffirmation for me, and a focusing of those dreams and aspirations into actual thoughts about, and action toward, what I will do in the future. I also had my tutorial in Philosophy and Film, and came away with an even greater excitement for studying Theology within media. I spent friday evening laughing around this brazier at one of my favorite pubs, the turf tavern. Then we watched a great movie called Children of Men, and had a good discussion about some of the concepts of the film.

Today, walking back from a great game of Ultimate (Frisbee), I came to a beautiful realization. If I am looking for it, I can find God's hand in everything I do. Every day of this week has had some new element of Truth for me. Whether it's the challenging task of learning a completely new subject, the rewarding feeling I have after leaving a great class, or even the things that I do in my free time, God is there, and He's teaching me how to become of man of integrity. The only thing is, this isn't just for me. If I set my mind and my heart on building the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth, on gaining more knowledge that I can share with others, and on loving my friends sacrificially and unconditionally, I honestly believe that I am making a difference in the world. That's what I want to do with my life. It's an ambituous place to search for, but I search nonetheless.

One More Day...

The week is basically over, and I'm finding myself in an interesting reflective mood. This week has been marked with a few certain realizations for me. One of which is that I did better at using my time this week, though not as well as I would have liked. During the first few days, I did a lot of research and some goofing off. That left the last couple days for me to do the writing. It worked out ok in the end, but I hope to not repeat this cycle. Over Thursday and Friday, I read a large portion of 5 books and wrote 3600 words, finishing at 4am on friday, and crashing for 5 hours before a really good tutorial at 10.

The other realization that I've come to will make a little more sense of the title I've chosen for this post. I realized somewhere between the chaos of Social Anthropology and Existentialism, that I've come to ask for a few second chances this week. Some of those second chances, like another day to read and work on those papers, were impossible to have. And yet others have been given with such undue grace that I was ashamed at how little I deserved them. I was walking to the library the other day, and I suddenly felt a song emerge in my heart, with a few specific words sticking out in my head. The songwriter explores many themes, but at one point humbly admits, "I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts..."

That's how I felt a few times this week. The only comfort for me is, ironically, the idea that tomorrow is a new day, and that God offers his grace afresh if I am willing to wake up and reach for it. As poetically smooth as that idea sounds, I don't want to rely on "One More Day" because one day, there won't be. I guess the lesson here is cliche for many, but with a newfound meaning for me. Seize the day.

Learning to Walk Again

I made it through my first week of official classes. I have spent at least 12 hours of that week in this building. It's called the Radcliffe Camera. It's part of the library system, and I have all of my books sent to the lower reading room (there are only two stories). That room is quite large, with vaulted ceilings, and has some really cool lighting. I usually bring my computer or iPod and listen to chill or or motivating music while I peruse the books for sweet morsels of information that I can use in the papers I am writing.

I wish I could say that I made it through this week without many bumps along the way, but that's not the case. I am learning how to manage my time, and had to humbly ask one of my professors to reschedule our tutorial because I felt that it was too much to try to finish two 2,000 word essays and read 4 books in the space of about 5 days. I probably could have done it, but I didn't manage my time wisely.

I also had an interesting little scuffle with a professor over a request to audit a class. As APU students, we're required to take a 3 unit British Culture course. Early on in the week I heard about a few of my friends dropping the course, reducing their workload to 12 units. I immediately wanted to do this. I didn't think about the fact however that my casual request to drop the class, essentially attending all of the lectures but doing no work, was only founded on selfish reasoning. I eventually decided not to drop the class, and stay with my original commitment to the program. However it was difficult to sleep last night, knowing that I had created a rift in the relationship of one of my professors.

In this shakey first week I realized how distant I had grown from God. I have slept through my precious morning reflection time almost every day this week. Looking back, not putting God at the beginning and the end of my day was the biggest mistake I could made for the first week. Even now, my heart beats faster and my eyes want to tear up at the thought of forsaking He who is most precious to me during a time that I need Him most. Again, I am reminded of the importance of placing priority on the time that I spend.

As I continue to walk these streets and make trips out to the open spaces, I feel closer to the Jesus who walked everywhere, the Father who created it all and loves me in spite of my shortcomings, and the Spirit who speaks through the wind, trees, and the hearts of people around me.

First Day of School

On Friday, I had two lectures and met with both of my tutors. The way education works in Oxford is much different that Azusa, or most other American universities. Most students meet with their professors in a 1 to 1, weekly meeting focusing on a specific subject. Depending on the major, students have between two and five of these a semester. My education here includes two of these, a weekly seminar (similar to a small discussion class) on the writings of C.S. Lewis, a weekly discussion on faith with all 19 of the APU kids, and a series of required lectures and exams on British culture and society. Overall it makes for a pretty round semester. Though the difficult part is that I'm only in "class" for about 5 hours a week (max.) and the other time I must be diligently reading and writing essays of 2,000-3,000 words for each of my tutorials.

Friday felt like the first day of school for me in a lot of ways. I don't really know if I've had that sense since freshman year of college. It was new and exciting, and I was very nervous to meet my tutors. I came back from my meetings with a flutter of anxiety, a touch of worry that this term will be a lot of work, but mostly a feeling of resolute excitement, looking forward to the amazing learning experience in front of me with determination.

I'm starting to get finally get comfortable with the layout of Oxford. With it's small institutions (libraries, colleges, bookstores, parks) spread out over the entire city, it has beeen a challange to figure out where everything is. Yet I think, after two weeks of wandering around and often asking for directions, I am getting my bearings.



I am even making time to go out into the open spaces. I took this picture a few days after I got here, but I think it will soon be one of favorite spots to watch the trees dance and listen to the wind speak. Though this has been one of the few sunny days we've been blessed here in Oxford, I've taken some interesting shots of my surroundings and hope to post them soon. Until then, I hope everyone who reads this has a better idea of what I'm up to.

Finally Here

Well, the day has finally come, I have arrived in Oxford. After two weeks of visiting London, Paris, Edinburgh and many cities in between, I have finally landed in the city that will be my new home for the next 5 months. It has been an amazing trip so far, marked by cold weather, thick Scotch accents, foggy lakes, sunsets over green rolling hills, confused cab rides in Paris, beautiful castles and cathedrals, a lot of laughs, a few tears, some tasty ales and above all, the joy of living and making the most out of each day God has given me.



In three days I will begin orientation for a very academically rigorous semester, filled with rich learning experiences in and outside of the traditional classroom. Hopefully, I can use this Blog to finally fulfill the purposes I intended when I created it months ago, and chronicle my journey and some of my insights. In the next week or so I hope to upload some of the my pictures and post a few of my journal entries from the last two weeks.

Cool New Thing

So as I am getting ready to travel and study abroad for the next 5-6 months, I thought it would be a good idea to start posting some photos online. I wan't people to read about what I'm learning, but I also want you all to see it! I've just subscribed to a service called Flickr. I can upload photos and put them in albums and possibly a lot more. I am working on trying to get a slideshow in my actual blog, but until I figure that out, I figured you could at least check out my Flickr page for yourself. There is now a permanent link to it in the sidebar.

I took over 500 pictures this summer, and the 11 pictures posted now and not that great, but I just wanted to get something up. Stay tuned for more in the near future.

Oxford and Road Trip?

So it's still not 100%, but I think I'm gonna get to go to Oxford next semester. I'm starting to get really excited about travelling, and that's all I can think about. The plan is to leave December 15th, the day after I'm done with finals for Fall Semester. Then my family will meet up with me December 20th, and we'll spend Christmas together in the UK. Then my family will leave and I'll stay the semester. Since I have a wedding to go to on May 12th (also my 21st birthday), I'm planning to come back around May 9th.

After I get back, I really want to visit my college friends in their home states. That means, hopefully, a trip to Northern California, Oregon, (maybe Washington too?), Colorado, Texas and anywhere in between. If you know of any places I might be able to stay, let me know please!

Anyway, that's an update of my current travel plans. They might change, but please tell me if you're going to be travelling in any close proximity to me during the next 6 or 8 months.

Blessings!

Reasons and Background

So why did I decide to create this blog? I've been working for my Dad recently, helping him set up a website and blog for a small non-profit organization called TEAM International (teaminternational.blogspot.com). Though it has been difficult at times, learning how to use technology to communicate the values of an organization has been a great learning experience. Doing so has made me realize that I wanted a better way to tell my story to more people. So here it is. My goal is to share where I've been, what I am learning, and where I want to go.


This is Papa and I at Pali Lookout, on O'ahu, Hawaii. It was one of the last days in an amazing summer trip with TEAM International around Asia. The wind was gusting up to 60 mph!

I'm still learning how this works, so bear with me through the technical side of things. In the near future, expect stories from Thailand the last two summers, and more updates on the possibility of studying abroad in Oxford, England next semester.

Love one another.