Friday, January 19, 2007
Learning to Walk Again
I made it through my first week of official classes. I have spent at least 12 hours of that week in this building. It's called the Radcliffe Camera. It's part of the library system, and I have all of my books sent to the lower reading room (there are only two stories). That room is quite large, with vaulted ceilings, and has some really cool lighting. I usually bring my computer or iPod and listen to chill or or motivating music while I peruse the books for sweet morsels of information that I can use in the papers I am writing.
I wish I could say that I made it through this week without many bumps along the way, but that's not the case. I am learning how to manage my time, and had to humbly ask one of my professors to reschedule our tutorial because I felt that it was too much to try to finish two 2,000 word essays and read 4 books in the space of about 5 days. I probably could have done it, but I didn't manage my time wisely.
I also had an interesting little scuffle with a professor over a request to audit a class. As APU students, we're required to take a 3 unit British Culture course. Early on in the week I heard about a few of my friends dropping the course, reducing their workload to 12 units. I immediately wanted to do this. I didn't think about the fact however that my casual request to drop the class, essentially attending all of the lectures but doing no work, was only founded on selfish reasoning. I eventually decided not to drop the class, and stay with my original commitment to the program. However it was difficult to sleep last night, knowing that I had created a rift in the relationship of one of my professors.
In this shakey first week I realized how distant I had grown from God. I have slept through my precious morning reflection time almost every day this week. Looking back, not putting God at the beginning and the end of my day was the biggest mistake I could made for the first week. Even now, my heart beats faster and my eyes want to tear up at the thought of forsaking He who is most precious to me during a time that I need Him most. Again, I am reminded of the importance of placing priority on the time that I spend.
As I continue to walk these streets and make trips out to the open spaces, I feel closer to the Jesus who walked everywhere, the Father who created it all and loves me in spite of my shortcomings, and the Spirit who speaks through the wind, trees, and the hearts of people around me.