On Tuesday I had my first tutorial in Social Anthropology. I had turned in my paper on the Thursday before, so I wasn't thinking that hard about Social Anthro when I showed up to meet with my professor. That was my first mistake. The second came from that fact that I didn't put as much effort and time into my Anthro paper that I have been puting into my Philosophy and Film paper. Big mistake. My tutor, as kindly and as Englishly as possible, tore me apart.
Wednesday, I was feeling really hurt, because I felt as if I was a fish out of water in the field of Social Anthropology, floundering for a basic understanding. By Thursday, I was feeling better about it, with the help of some encouraging my from amazing family and friends. I realized that it's better to start small, and work toward improvement than to start really strong and regress instead of progress. I also spent the majority of Thursday thinking about the direction that my life was headed, and researching and writing a paper on the role of television in contemporary society.
Friday, I was starting to get a sense that this semester will be a time of reaffirmation for me, and a focusing of those dreams and aspirations into actual thoughts about, and action toward, what I will do in the future. I also had my tutorial in Philosophy and Film, and came away with an even greater excitement for studying Theology within media. I spent friday evening laughing around this brazier at one of my favorite pubs, the turf tavern. Then we watched a great movie called Children of Men, and had a good discussion about some of the concepts of the film.
Today, walking back from a great game of Ultimate (Frisbee), I came to a beautiful realization. If I am looking for it, I can find God's hand in everything I do. Every day of this week has had some new element of Truth for me. Whether it's the challenging task of learning a completely new subject, the rewarding feeling I have after leaving a great class, or even the things that I do in my free time, God is there, and He's teaching me how to become of man of integrity. The only thing is, this isn't just for me. If I set my mind and my heart on building the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth, on gaining more knowledge that I can share with others, and on loving my friends sacrificially and unconditionally, I honestly believe that I am making a difference in the world. That's what I want to do with my life. It's an ambituous place to search for, but I search nonetheless.